News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
