we're blogging at a bar
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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