it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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