I wannas sexs uuuuu
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
