Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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