I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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