see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
