Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
