you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
how drunk are you?
Several
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
