i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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