he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
