Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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