Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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