Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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