She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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