didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
