you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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