Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
