Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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