just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
