3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
