just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
