Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
