OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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