hotel room ftw
I bet he comes in French.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
