is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
