he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
