love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
