Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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