i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
