You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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