Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
