high people should be assigned attendants
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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