When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
