So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
