She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
