the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
