I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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