id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
