why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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