It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Randomize
