Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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