I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
