ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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