A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
