Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
