I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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