I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
