you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
