Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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