I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
