Im at strip club and am horny
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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