Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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