He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Even my vagina gasped.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
