i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
