is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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