i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
is it fun? or sober?
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